Review, Redo, Renew.

For years, I have been a dreamer. My best friend has told me since Day One that that is one of the best things about me. I like to imagine the possibilities, believe they can happen, and chase the adventures life can offer. I don’t say this to sound boastful, but to make a point.

Alongside my propensity for dreaming big, I have a habit of getting comfortable. For a few years, I seem to have limited what I want to do with my life to getting hitched, settling down, and teaching high school. But slowly, I began to be jolted out of my comatose state.

I have a list of things I want to do: travel, live in London, write a best-seller, etc. And I realized that I wasn’t doing anything to chase those dreams. I wasn’t even thinking about them. And my heart constantly ached for some sort of adventure, risk, maybe a little bit of chaos. But my plan had morphed into “married before student teaching, elope, work in Tulsa for a while, be happy-ish.” That’s what I thought I was supposed to want.

Then, I saw someone taking a risk, putting themselves out there, and their lives changed forever. Their dreams happened. I can imagine how they feel: standing there, thinking “how is this me? Is this really my life?” And it is. I want that. I don’t want to settle for mediocre. I want exciting and unimaginable.

People sit and say, “Nah, it’s just your mind. You’re overthinking. Be happy where you are. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment.”

That’s where this mentality needs a kick in the butt. I can be happy where I am and still dream of something more. God has given people all these abilities. You have to use them. God made this whole wide world filled with beautiful things for us to experience. Just because I like comfort doesn’t mean that I can’t love adventure and excitement.

Jesus was a rebel. He was full of adventure, wandering from city to city. He talked to the people that others overlooked. He joked, laughed, and lived. He was adventurous. And seeing as He is fully God and fully Man, God has those qualities. God is everything. He can’t be put in a box. Since we are made in God’s image, we also can’t be put in a box.

So, here I am, putting myself in a box that God never intended to me be stuck in. He gave this whole wide world to dream of and chase. Those BOC boys, for instance. They traveled to Europe and talked to people. The Move, Eat, Do dude, for another example. He traveled, met, talked, saw, ate, everything. Why can’t I do that? Why should I deny my dreams to fit peoples’ expectations? No! Enough of that! I am more. I shall not be placed in a box.

Life is short and everyone dies. Why settle for a life of mediocrity and disappointment when you can chase everything God has planned for you? We have to have a spirit of cooperation. We can’t just sit and let God lead us. We have to listen to His call for our lives and follow it, like David! Instead of sitting about, take every opportunity that God places in your path. There are so many adventures He could be preparing and leading you into!

So, don’t sit about. Dream big and chase them. Live the best life you can. For God! For you! For the legacy that God made you to leave. “Let us live so that when we come to die, even the undertaker will be sorry.” (Mark Twain)

That’s the commitment I have made. I’d rather have a question mark in my future than the chance of living a mediocre life where none of my dreams are accomplished. I will live boldly. I will take my chances. I will get out of my box and push my boundaries. “Live fast, have fun, and be a little mischievous.” (Louis Tomlinson) God has not given me a spirit of fear, so let’s do it.

I started with deepness, but I shall end this entry with something a little more Laine-esque. You have to risk it for the biscuit.

Random Facts About Me

I am a big fan of lists. This is a relatively new blog. Therefore, I shall make a list about myself. Cute logic, right?

1. I like adventures, but I also love to be able to relax and sit around with my friends.
2. My favorite book of all time is The Count of Monte Cristo. The book I have read the most is Taggerung by Brian Jacques. My favorite franchise/series is Harry Potter.
3. Sure, I am like to sleep, but I am still capable of staying up late and enjoying a party. If given the chance.
4. Jesus is my number one. He has pulled me out of dark and desperate days and continues to love me, despite my constant stupidity.
5. I am a firm believer in lead from within. You can’t be a light in a dark world if you refuse to associate with anyone that doesn’t believe/act exactly like you do.
6. War movies over chick flicks everyday of the week. Quality show (Wipeout, Modern Family, sports) over drippy shows like Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, whatever.
7. I am out of loop when it comes to Top 40′s type of music. I don’t really do Rihanna, Nikki, Drake, Lil Wayne (doesn’t he have like 8 names?). I hear them on the radio, enjoy the occasional song, but I don’t own them.
8. My type of music (favorites): Hillsong United, Manchester Orchestra,  Mumford, Florence, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Civil Wars, Kenzie & Kendal (local), Goo Goo Dolls, Louis Armstrong, NeedToBreathe, U2, etc, etc, etc.
9. I like to run. The first step is the hardest, but once you get going and afterwards, everything is worth it. The endorphins and energy are amazing.
10. I’m a bit of a nerd. I like to write, read, and stuff. I’m a fan of LOTR, Harry Potter, Star Wars, the like. However, I’m also an athlete with a love for sports – football, soccer, lacrosse, Bud’s baseball, recently fallen for basketball – and running. I also can be girly – look pretty, eat ice cream, and watch the occasional chick flick. Multi-dimensional, dude. I like too many things to just be “whatever.”

Uh, so yeah. Talking about myself is weird. But keeping it light for a bit.

An Inquiry Into Early AM Fashion

When the alarm goes off at 7:10 AM on Monday/Wednesday mornings, it takes everything in me to not chunk my precious phone across the room. What kind of sick sadist would even have classes available at 8 in the morning? And a 30 minute walk away from my dorm, too?! It’s enough to make me cry.

So, I proceed to roll my butt out of bed, pull on sweats and a sweater, toss my hair into a ponytail, and hike into the wilderness that is OSU. There are other options, of course. Sometimes, I’ll wear my awesome sport leggings. Or comfy jeans. Or shorts, if it’s warm. But there are ladies (and gentlemen) out here that have very strange preferences for early AM fashion.

1. Ladies, if you are going to wear leggings, they really should be sport leggings. Dress leggings – that are meant for complete outfits – should not be worn as pants. Especially if your build is not flattering in leggings. However, if you does choose to wear dress leggings as pants, cover your butt. I can work with leggings. They aren’t the worse thing to happen to the world. But cover your butt. Common courtesy, ladies.

2. Gentlemen, don’t wear pajama pants to class. That’s just dumb. Sweats are just fine. Jeans, obviously, are dandy. But the moment you put pajama pants on to wear to class, your man card points are deducted. Just. Don’t. Do. It.

3. Rolling out of bed is normal. It’s my everyday life, bay-be. But what I don’t understand, however, are the ladies that get up early to shower, put on makeup, fix their hair, and THEN style everything to look like they just woke up. Your hair is perfectly done in that ponytail and your mascara is flawless… Why not just put on a normal outfit? We won’t judge.

4. “If its cold enough to wear boots, then its not warm enough to wear shorts.” True story. That just doesn’t make sense. I understand wearing a skirt on a cold day with cute shoes when you wanna show off those legs, but in no world do UGG-type boots and shorts look good together. The only excuse is if after a work out on a cold day and you just have to get out to of those sweaty running shoes.

Honestly, ladies and gents, you can wear what you want. There are too many other issues in the world to get really worked up about poor fashion choices. But, really, these style issues need to go.

10 Things I Hate About You

“I hate the way you talk to me.

And the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car,

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots

And the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it  makes me sick,

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you’re always right,

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh,

Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,

And the fact you didn’t call.

But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,

Not even close,

Not even a little bit,

Not even at all.”

 

-From 10 Things I Hate About You, chick-flick retelling of The Taming of The Shrew (Shakespeare) featuring the hotness that is Heath Ledger.

I dig it.

Tozer Rocks

I haven’t been blogging so much in the past week now that Valentine’s Day is over. I’ve had less food for thought. I am going through this really weird time in my life. What’s first and foremost in my life is Jesus because I am really having to cling to Him right now. I actually found something in Jesus Calling yesterday that rocked my world. “I am with you. I hold you by your right hand. I will guide you with my counsel, and afterwards I will guide you into glory.” Sure, I’m hurting and things are rough, but God is forever right there and guiding me into GLORY, man. How is that for encouragement? Whenever I feel overwhelmed and hopeless, which can be often, I remember that and His peace seeps back into my soul.

Anyways, what I want to share today is one of my favorite quotes of all time – brought to you by A.W. Tozer. I don’t remember who gave it to me – it might have been Lauren Griffith, but it rocked my world. “God is so vastly wonderful, so utterly and completely delightful, that He can, without anything other than Himself, meet and overflow the deepest demands of our total nature, mysterious and deep as that nature is…”

Think about it.

We are humans that can feel emotions, create things, make logical connections. We are mysterious and complex and all different. We don’t even understand everything about ourselves. But GOD fills every inch of that complexity. He overflows it. He is GOD, for pete’s sake. What else could we possibly need? That’s what He is really putting on my heart lately. I may want certain things a lot, but if I end up alone and dog lady, that’s okay. Because nothing is ever going to be able to fill me up, set me free, and give me peace like God does. He is our destiny, purpose, and redeemer. Nothing is going to be able to fill that hole in our soul, but Him.

So, if you’re being driven by a need that hurts and harms your soul, realize you don’t need it. God understands the suckiness of your situation. He understands your pain, weakness, and struggles. It’s okay. Come to Him, begging for relief and He will fill you up – overflow you. He will give you the strength you need to deny the temptation, turn away, and shake off the shackles that have started to bury you and your light.

Be set free. Don’t let this world keep you down. God is vastly wonderful. And completely delightful. Find your satisfaction in Him and you’ll discover a new you in Him – complete and shining yo’ Jesus light.

So…that’s it. Maybe next time, I won’t go so deep on you guys.

Daily Affirmations

Have you seen this little lion-heart? Adorable, right? She has the right attitude. We seem to lose some of that childlike confidence and joy, as we age. Suddenly, the small things don’t carry the same wonder and we don’t get as excited about them. It’s a shame, really. So, let’s get that wonder back! Start your day with your affirmations and resolve to look at the world with a kiddo’s eyes.

So, I can do anything good. I like my room. I like my mom. I like my dad. I like my siblings. I like my friends. I like my weird feet. I like my style. I like the fog. I like walking. I like grey skies. I like my car. I can do anything good. I like string bracelets. I like my WHOLLLLLE HOUSEEEEE. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

{This picture has nothing to do with affirmations. It just seems fantastic and full of wonder… I should’ve been a fairy…}

 

Trapped.

We take our story back to the beginning in the Garden of Eden. All was well and God walked free with his creations because there was no sin in the world. But, as we all know, that didn’t last. Eve and Adam believed the serpent and his seductive lies.

Since then, fast forwarding through the most epic story of all time, God has sent His Son to die for us. Our sin is taken and we are restored to purity by our belief in Jesus, so that we can walk with God in The Garden of Eden. However, we are still human. We are still cursed by sin. We will still fall to its seductive power. But God has already forgiven us of that.

Sin is seductive. It whispers in your ear that this is what you want; its what you deserve; its not actually bad for you. That? That’s the serpent.We are weak, little, pathetic human beings and we fall into the sin trap over and over again.

But there is hope. God knows that we mess up. He loves us through it. He will love you through it, out of it, and after it. However, we don’t just sit there and let God do all the work. We have to realize that we are sinning. We have to realize that what we’re doing isn’t God-glorifying, is a byproduct of our sinful nature, and slowly killing us.

I learned the painful result of sin in a bible study my senior year of highschool – besides, you know, through real life. Rick put a chain on my neck and had my wear it for the whole hour and a half of class. At first, it wasn’t a big deal, but after… My neck ached and all I wanted was for Rick to take the darn thing off. That’s how sin works. We don’t think its a big deal at first, but after a while it wears. It starts to hurt, ache, and slowly kills us. Sin isn’t good. It’s a destroyer.

So, if your sin is out of loneliness, you’re not alone. Seek community. Seek good influences. But, most importantly, seek God. If your sin is out of pride, humble yourself before God. He will show you His Glory and you’ll never doubt your importance ever again. If your sin is out of a need for control, let go and let God. It’s hard, but God’s plan is sovereign. If your sin is out of lust, turn to God for relief. He will help you have strength and overcome the temptation.

Part of being a Christian is turning from your sin. Knowing that you’re sinning is first. If you’re already a Christian, then you remember that God has already forgiven you. You thank Him for that, but then you have to turn from that and work to grow from that. Glorifying God is also obeying Him in the smallest details (John 14, again). Alot of people get worried about that, thinking that God will be angry if you can’t successful refrain from ever committing that particular sin again. But think about it:

You know that being angry (for worldly reasons) is a sin. You work very hard to not do that, but, man, if that Spanish professor isn’t a total jerk, then I don’t know who is. God will not strike you down for that angry thought. He understands that you’re human. He knows that you’re trying. God doesn’t care that we succeed; He only asks that we try.

With that in mind, don’t take grace for granted. He gives you His forgiveness out of love and His own endless power. When we think that we can achieve grace by working hard enough to keep from sin (or lose that grace if we fail), then we are undermining the amazing works God did through His Son on the cross. Don’t let that desperate need to please, undermine God’s perfect forgiveness.

Sorry for that rant… I have a lot of stuff on my mind and heart. I don’t know if any of this made sense, whether it actually helped anyone, or anything. If you are feeling more intimidated in your sin, rather than set free by the knowledge of forgiveness… Just remember that God loves you and He knows everything about you. He will carry you through the hardest times and stand up you when He builds up to strength in Him. He is proud of you always. He loves you through it all and He will love you out of the trap your sin has put you in. And if God feels far away (which He isn’t), know that He has put people in your life that understand and love you. He is working through them for you, as well.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Dave Barnes says to lighten up, all you sad sacks.

Anyways, I’m sure that everyone is hyper aware of the fact that today is classic couple-lovey-dovey holiday. However, today isn’t just the day to celebrate your girlfriend/boyfriend/wifey/hubs. Today is a day to celebrate all the different degrees of love you have for the people in your lives.

Throughout your life, I’m sure that you can pinpoint different people that have poured into you. Molded you, guided you, been there for you. At my I Am Second bible study last night, we learned that “a loveless world is a sightless world.” (John 14:23) The people that love you see your pain and come to your aid. I’m sure you have people coming to mind right now that have spent so much time with you, talking you down and building you up. Celebrate the love in those relationships.

Maybe its the family member that you could always go to. You all should remember your mom and pop – they raised you suckers. Maybe its your best friend. Maybe its your next door neighbor. Maybe its that random classmate that always helped you out. Maybe its the encouraging highschool teacher. Maybe its the pastor that introduced you to Jesus. Don’t let Valentine’s Day keep you in a box. God loved the world – He didn’t limit it to one person. Remember all those people who you love and love you. Tell them what they mean to you. It’s Valentine’s Day, for Pete’s sake.

So…without further ado, pictures of some of my buds – excluding my father, whom I can’t post pictures of. {Daddy, you’re still my hero, despite your pictureless-ness; haha!}

The most perfectest siblings in the entire universe.

Super Sarah, my first friend – besides Breckyn – that brought me to The Girls.

My mommy (L) and my second mom (Aunt Jodi) that are the creative masterminds behind everything I own. And, of course, my mom knows everything.

Lorena Lou, best friend since 8th grade and the brains of the operation.

Lauren #2, the constant friend through Freshman year – finally realizing that I don’t hate her.

Hopey and Lace Face, future roommates and fellow Queens of Weird.

The Phamily – not all pictured. <3

The Sisterhood. Some of the best XC memories ever involve these ladies. Need a reunion.

And many more. Happy Valentine’s Day, friendlies!

Tribute to Ed

I can’t tell you how much I love this song…

{It might be because I love Rupert Grint… But no, I also love this song, which is Rupert-less.}

It’s romantic, full of promises, and smooth. It’s glorious.

“I’m gonna pick up the pieces,
and build a lego house
if things go wrong we can knock it down

My three words have two meanings,
there’s one thing on my mind
It’s all for you

And it’s dark in a cold December,
but I’ve got ya to keep me warm
and if you’re broken I will mend ya and keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on now

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now, now

I’m gonna paint you by numbers
and colour you in
if things go right we can frame it, and put you on a wall

And it’s so hard to say it but I’ve been here before
and I will surrender up my heart
and swap it for yours

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

Don’t hold me down
I think my braces are breaking
and it’s more than I can take

And if it’s dark in a cold December,
I’ve got ya to keep me warm
and if you’re broken then I will mend ya
and keep you sheltered from the storm that’s raging on, now

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I will love you better now

I’m out of sight, I’m out of mind
I’ll do it all for you in time
And out of all these things I’ve done
I think I love you better now

I’m out of touch, I’m out of love
I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down
and out of all these things I’ve done
I will love you better now…”

All The Single Ladies,

PUT YOUR HANDS UP!

{I’ll be honest; I really want to learn this dance.}

I’ve been blogging a lot about love and the subjects of relationships. But on the other side of the spectrum is the fierce ladies that don’t need a man. So, let’s don our black leotards and stilettos and work it.

Someone recently gave me some good advice. To “enjoy the time between.” And that’s a great plan. When you’re single, you can focus on developing more friendships rather relationships. Try things that  you wouldn’t have normally tried. You can spend time figuring out who you are, what you want, and where you want to go – as an individual.

I’m not saying have a boyfriend holds you back. They can make experiences more exciting. I’m just saying that there is nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend. Life is exciting and an adventure. While waiting for the man of your dreams, don’t wish away the time that can be really good for you. It’s a time to enjoy everything that God is sending your way and using to make you into the woman you are meant to be.

However, a word of warning. Don’t spend your entire singleness looking for your next “boo.” Don’t spend all your time trying to find someone new. That’s not even healthy. Meet people, be friendly, if there is a really good connection, then that’s awesome. But your first priority should be to focus on your relationship with God and where your heart is. Because once you have discovered that all you really need is God, He will supply you with who you are meant to be with.

Enjoy the time you have before settling down. You’re fierce. You’re lovely. And you can rock that Beyonce leotard. (Rock it with discretion; it’s a little on the scandalous side.)